Published on February 15th, 2012 | by Jon Tanners0
Dr. Dre Earns Doctor of Dental Surgery, Reveals Plans for “Teeth By Dre”
LOS ANGELES – “These molars gon’ be BUMPIN’,” said Dre as he lifted his drill from the mouth of Clarice Florence, 34. Florence had been complaining in weeks prior that her molars were lacking serious bass and that the sound quality of her mouth in general was inferior.
“I’d hear some of these bitches talking and be like ‘damn, my shit ain’t been slammin since I had my wisdom teeth pulled.’ Then I heard Dre was doing teeth now and you know ya girl couldn’t resist.”
Dre–now going by his official title, Dr. Dr. Dre, DDS–was more than happy to oblige Ms. Florence.
“Treble mouth is one of the most underreported conditions in America today, but my research shows it affects 55-70% of all chicken heads.” Dre pointed to a series of charts dashed across his desk. “As you can see, if we don’t do something now,” he said, a grave look overtaking his face, “we’re gonna have a problem here.”
Teeth By Dre is the first ADA approved dental speaker augmentation product on the market.