Published on March 25th, 2012 | by Alex Fenn0
Softening Ice Cube to Rebrand N.W.A as “Negroes With Aptitude”
COMPTON – In what was deemed an unsurprising move by many, fading rap star Ice Cube has decided to rebrand N.W.A. The pioneering gangsta rap group, once known as “N*ggaz Wit Attitudes,” will now be known as “Negroes With Aptitude.” In recent years, Ice Cube, made famous for his violent and misogynistic lyrics, has taken up acting in more family-friendly roles in films such as “Are We There Yet?” and “Barbershop.”
In a press statement released earlier today, Ice Cube stated “as a middle-aged African-American who has come to terms with his harsh upbringing, it is my duty to revoke the message I once stood for. It is by the rebranding of N.W.A. that I hope to reach a new generation of struggling youth, and preach messages of positivity and compassion demonstrating that you can make it if you get white parents to drag their kids to the theaters.”
N.W.A. made history with their 1988 album “Straight Outta Compton,” considered by many to be the seminal sound of gangsta rap, one which attracted national media attention for the controversial single “Fuck Tha Police.” Ice Cube has reportedly been in the studio with Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez working on a new cut tentatively titled “Alert The Police,” and a Walt Disney Records released album is slated for late 2012.
Dr. Dre was quoted as saying that he would be “happy to help with a Negroes With Aptitude-branded product line of standardized tests.” The estate of Eazy-E could not be reached for comment, but it is assumed he has been rolling in his grave for many years.