Published on April 8th, 2012 | by thon janners0
Jesus Christ Disproves Y.O.L.O. Movement
Three days after his crucifixion, Jesus of Nazareth is back from the dead, a move which has scholars pondering the veracity of the “You Only Live Once”, or “Y.O.L.O.” movement. Y.O.L.O. as a saying has been popular for many years, but has experienced a rebirth due to its prominent use in Drake’s 2011 song “The Motto.”
Its virality can also be attributed to the Facebook statuses of countless 14-year old girls and frat boys, who use Y.O.L.O. to punctuate acts of everyday courage, such as poking their crush on Facebook, and going for that second slice of cheesecake.
Jesus’s rebirth was made known via a rapid burst of Twitter updates, among them a barb aimed at Kanye West, “@kanyewest who said you can walk with me son #Y.O.L.T. YOU ONLY LIVE TWICE” and several digs at Nasir Jones, “@therealnas come at me bro, let’s see who’s really God’s son” and “@therealnas I KNOW I CAN…COME BACK2 LIFE.” Jesus has also solicited the help of other musicians in his comeback, tweeting “Yo Stevie Wonder, I kno u ain’t on twitter, but if u wanna collab get at me, u kno what I can do for u #John9:6-7”
Jesus’ plans for his second wind are unclear, but rumors of an interdenominational collaboration with Based God are running rampant.