COMPTON, CALIFORNIA – After holding out for 32 years, rap star the Game has finally lost the Game.
“I was just playin 2K in the studio with Weezy,” said the distraught rapper, “and I turned to him. I was just like ‘I lost.’ He was confused cuz I was beating his ass with the Lakers, but I knew the truth.” It is believed that Lil Wayne immediately lost the game at this time; DJ Khaled, when reached for comment, noted, “ALL I DO IS WIN WIN WIN NO MATTER WHAT!”
Though it is rumored that this is the Game’s first loss at the Game, the California Gaming Commission is currently investigating previous times when Game could have been thinking about–and thus losing–the Game. A tearful Game claimed to have “won the Game mad times throughout my career,” but recent album sales and the fact that no known mechanism exists for judging victory at the Game call these assertions into doubt.
“The implications of our investigation are quite severe,” said CGA President Kermit Schayitz. “If the Game lost the Game at any time prior to the loss he just announced, he might have some and even all of his platinum records revoked.”
Officials critical of the CGA’s investigation believe it to be a shallow attempt to erase the Game from society’s collective memory. Mr. Schayitz doesn’t understand the outcry.
“If the Game loses the Game, we win.”