SANTA BARBARA – Southern California locals have spotted Tupac Shakur and Nate Dogg, recently resurrected in hologram form at Coachella, engaging unenthusiastically in the activities of daily life.
“When Whitney came upstairs last month and told us the lineup for Coachella this year, we knew we had to be there,” said Shakur, nursing an espresso in a late-night interview at Starbucks. “But we never considered the cost.”
Dogg and Shakur have banded together as they again struggle with the human condition. In addition to being sighted scavenging for ripe cantaloupes at Ralph’s, the pair have been seen at Citibank, the post office, and the Genius Bar at the local Apple Store.
“Honestly, it’s not that great being alive. There’s a lot of trivial shit to deal with after being holographically resurrected,” said Dogg. “Can you imagine how much of a bitch it was trying to take a picture at the DMV?”
“Not only that, but we have to experience the emotional ups and downs of daily life: that funny YouTube clip being blocked by Viacom, that delicious risotto cooking just a minute too long, the Miami Heat’s NBA season.”
Sources say that Diddy has been attempting to meet up with the pair’s Silicon Valley creators for weeks to pitch a Notorious B.I.G. hologram. The engineers are hesitant, as hologram-on-hologram violence could challenge previously understood rules of physics.
But Shakur thinks things are looking up: “My manager says we’re going on tour to Vegas next week, so that should be a blast.”