CUPERTINO, CALIFORNIA – Apple Inc. released a press statement today highlighting plans for Q4 2012 and the 2013 fiscal year. The most intriguing product: the “iMac Miller,” a desktop combining the functionality of a Mac with the utter uselessness of Mac Miller.
While details are slim regarding this new product, The Rap Insider can only assume that the iMac Miller will be a skinny, white, and wholly ungraceful computer with weak rhymes, sub-par production, and a unibody aluminum case.
“It’s going to be like a Mac air, but with absolutely no useful features instead of reduced features,” said Tim Cook, Apple CEO.
“Mac Miller looks like Sloth from The Goonies, so we realized that making a computer revolving around his unique aesthetics would be totally indie and quintessentially Apple” said Jonathan Ive, Apple’s lead product designer and brushed aluminum expert. “Mac has graciously agreed to lend his voice to create a desktop version of Siri, and we’re quite excited, as his robotic monotone voice will be perfect guiding you to the nearest Chinese restaurant or marijuana dispensary.”
Much like its inspiration, the iMac Miller will reportedly cater to rich, suburban, white kids who primarily utilize their parent’s credit card. A “black” version of the iMac Miller is in the works, featuring the likeness of Drake. Not to be left out of the competition, Dell plans to release Dell the Funky Desktop, a computer modeled after indie rapper Del the Funky Homosapien. No one plans to buy it.