By  MC Infarction

BROOKLYN – Shawn Carter AKA Jay-Z is excited today after discovering a totally awesome new band on his wife Beyonce Knowles’ iPod.

“I had that shit on shuffle and all a sudden I hear this synth come in, real retro like 90s shit. Then girl comes on talking about being a survivor and shit. Damn”

Carter immediately Googled the band and “liked” them on Facebook. He was stunned to discover that many of their songs already had millions of hits on YouTube.

Immediately after hearing “Bill Bills Bills,” Carter called his manager to put him in touch with Destiny’s Child, “but he just laughed at me. I guess they too hot to collaborate with.”

The difficulty of getting in touch with Destiny’s Child has only fueled Carter’s fervor for the girl group. “I even started calling my wife Bootylicious. She don’t like it but goddamn I love that song.”

“And when no one is around us, I say ‘Baby, I love you.’ She thinks I’m running game–I just think it’s great music!”

Rumors have surfaced that Kelly Rowland and Michelle Williams have tried to reach out to both Jay-Z and Beyonce, but no one cares.

It is also reported that, to make room for Destiny’s Child, Carter recently dropped both Willow Smith and daughter Blue Ivy Carter from his record label and family, respectively.