Published on June 7th, 2012 | by thon janners0
Common Changes Name to Uncommon, Still Ungoogleable
CHICAGO – Citing great difficulty adjusting to the web 2.0 generation, rap veteran Common has changed his name to Uncommon.
“Searching ‘common’ on Google brings up the college Common Application, and that’s not exactly my target demographic,” said Common via Friendster last week.
Common isn’t the first prominent artist to suffer the cruel fate of Google ignominy.
“It’s a common problem,” says internet guru Kevin Perreira. “We’ve seen it time and time again with artists like Cake, Spoon, Jet, and, worst of all, Seal.”
“When people google Seal, they want to hear ‘Kiss From A Rose,’” said the exasperated singer from his London apartment. “They don’t want to see a picture of a baby seal getting clubbed. Or my head on the body of a clubbed seaI. I hope.”
R&B artist Mario has also regretted his choice of stage name, realizing he will forever live in the shadow of a rather loveable but fictional cartoon plumber.
Perreira suggested that Common change his name to something more unusual, remarkable or preternatural.
It is unlikely, however, that this switch will help his search engine optimization, as his new name remains entirely ungoogleable.
Yahoo!, in an attempt to compete with Google, has launched a search engine which completely solves this problem and returns results only for the rap star.
Critics point out that this new search engine will be just as useful as Yahoo! is currently.