Published on June 18th, 2012 | by Jon Tanners0
Government Mandate Leads to Consolidation of Area Codes, Loss of Hoes for Ludacris
WASHINGTON – Sweeping legislation on telecommunications giants has caused outrage in the camp of rapper Ludacris after an overall reduction in the number of area codes nationally.
The overall number of area codes is slated to drop to 36, severely limiting a player’s ability, and possibly their constitutional right, to play.
“This mandate is absolutely unconscionable,” said the rapper’s lawyer Chaim Goldblatt, “For my client, it will spell an irreversible ho deficiency.”
Luda himself sees the larger problem: “Frankly, this was the only measure we had to evaluate a player’s game. There are 269 area codes in the US — So I know to laugh if a n*gga come tell me he got 20 hos.”
Refusing to be deterred by the law, rumors are swirling that Luda is the only rapper thus far to hit the magic 295: “I got my Saskatchewan ho last month. 29 area codes in Canada, mothafucka.”
It is believed that, in spite of this reduction, every day will still be a ho-liday–albeit a lesser one, like Flag Day–for Luda.