Published on June 27th, 2012 | by Jon Tanners0
Usher and Bieber Sign 5-Month-Old Baby to Record Label
LOS ANGELES – Davey Mendoza, aka “Infanta$ide D,” an infant, is the first artist signed to Usher and Justin Bieber’s new record label, “Thuggies.”
“His flow is ridiculous” said Usher, before giving us a sneak peak of Infanta$ide’s upcoming album.
The title track, “Aghagbabaym,” is a masterpiece of deconstructive rap, combining quadruple time flows and verbal wizardry that completely disregards concrete language.
Usher hopes that Mendoza’s androgynous good-looks and killer smile — he believes his singular tooth is his best feature — will make him a star among infant listeners
The rising star’s signature uni-tooth inspired rapper and fashion icon Kanye West to voluntarily knock out all of his own teeth.
As he performed the impromptu dental surgery on himself at an NYC nightclub via champagne bottle, Kanye was heard shouting, “thith thit dope ath fucgh…graythest ah all thime”.
“We were trying to sign Mendoza for months before Usher got to him,” said Arnie Blatt, VP of Music at Disney.
“The infant market is too huge for us to miss out on and you know how those young baby girls go goo-goo-gaa-gaa for stuff like this.
Infanta$ide is set to become rap’s next great superstar: “It took me at least 20 years to get half the level of talent this infant has,” said Bieber, “and I’m 18.”