By E. Mike Pace
MINNEAPOLIS – After six seasons hosting the hit Travel Channel program Bizarre Foods , host Andrew Zimmern has said “fuck it,” and has eaten his left arm.
The decision came after Zimmern realized that, over the course of the show, he had tasted literally every edible substance on earth, with the exception of his own flesh.
“Look, I love fermented quail penis soup as much as the next guy, and you know I’m first in line if we’re drinking african gnu blood straight from the jugular, but where do you go from there? Screw it, I’ll take this one for the team.”
Zimmern’s producers had encouraged him to begin eating bizarre non-edible substances for a new show, Bizarre Non-Edible Substances , but the host declined after suggestions included grocery bags, wood chips, and his childhood home.
The host’s encounter with the ultimate delicacy was taped for an upcoming episode where Zimmern tries local specialities in his hometown of Minneapolis, MN.
“Coming after the lutefisk, my arm tasted pretty good, actually. Not gamey at all, a little mineraly.”
The highlight, however, was sucking on his own bone marrow. Shaking his head with a look of orgasmic glee, viscous blood dripping from his teeth, Zimmern could only point with his good hand and offer, “this is the stuff.”
“Tony Bourdain can stand there and look cool with his electric cigarette and leather jacket,” Zimmern added while being attended to by paramedics for near-fatal blood loss, “I don’t have that luxury.”