Published on September 18th, 2012 | by Jon Tanners0
Cruel Summer for Kanye, Proves Crueler for Rest of Population
CHICAGO – Kanye West’s highly anticipated G.O.O.D. Music compilation album Cruel Summer has finally been released to mixed critical reception.
Fans across the globe wonder just what constitutes a “cruel summer” for a man who is not only a rap and fashion icon worth millions of dollars, but who also has sex with Kim Kardashian multiple times daily.
“If this is what Kanye calls a cruel summer, my summer was like an elephant bukkake party” said fallen rapper The Game. “And I wasn’t one of the elephants.”
Fans have taken to internet forums to comment on this theory of Kanye relativity.
“I didn’t get the internship I wanted and was forced to work at Panera, so in Kanye terms I had a brushing-my-teeth-with-a-razor-while-watching-my-parents-have-sex kind of summer,” wrote Kaitlyn_BR92
TherealKevinJ wrote, “I actually had a really relaxing summer, got to catch up on a few books, spend time with my girlfriend, and my grandmother taught me how to crochet! I guess, for Kanye, that would have been like spending three months in a Siberian prison camp suspended above a tank of piranhas waiting to devour his flesh. So I guess it was actually a pretty stressful summer.”
Even recent G.O.O.D. Music signee 2Chainz, who rode a slew of summer hits to mainstream prominence, can only describe his summer as head-achy and underwhelming when put through the Kanye test.
Mr. West could not be reached for comment because he is currently having an abysmal time finding an airline that will agree to fly the dinosaurs from Jurassic Park to his chalet in Versailles for the fall.