By Suri Booze
LOS ANGELES – Following recent testimony from US Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke, American singer-songwriter Ke$ha, born Kesha Rose Sebert, has swapped the U.S. Dollar sign in her first name for the British Pound sign.
“I am really concerned about the strength of the dollar in light of the last housing report and the signs of recession that the manufacturing numbers from August indicate,” said Ke£ha, who has a second-grade education level.
“And so I thought switching to the Pound Sterling made perfect sense. I have a classy brand to protect.”
“We were wary of the change at first, because the British Pound sign is harder to draw,” her manager David Sonenberg shared with us. “She had to practice writing it for weeks.”
To alleviate confusion with fans, Ke£ha will still pronounce her name the same way: Keh-shuh. Common mispronunciations include Kee-sha and Kee Dollar Sign Hah.
“We considered other signs – the Euro, Rupee, even the Yen. But the Euro won’t last much longer than Ke£ha’s dignity did and the Pound has a nice curve to it, perfectly mirroring Ke£ha’s feminine demeanor,” said Sonenberg.
Unfortunately, Ke£ha cut our interview short to sample British whiskeys to swap in to her dental hygiene regimen.
Her manager, however, responded: “Ultimately, I think she fits in better as a Brit. Her teeth are absolutely wrecked.”