By Weezy F. Scott Fitzgerald

HOUSTON – The touring Mike Jones hologram has offended the very much still living former rapper Mike Jones, a reachable Mike Jones reported from his fully functioning 2005 T-Mobile Sidekick this morning.

“I ain’t changed my number! 281-330-8004! Why no one callin’?”

The Mike Jones hologram joined BIG K.R.I.T. opener Slim Thug onstage for the third straight night, performing their 2005 hit “Still Tippin’” to an array of slurred “rrr”s, drivin’ gestures, and tributary beverage spilling for the widely presumed dead but still allegedly quite alive former rapper Mike Jones.

“Mike Jones thurr, Mike Jones hurr!” said Mike Jones, articulating his point that Mike Jones is still very much alive and uncomfortable coexisting in a world in which his hologram is rapping.

“No Paul Wall thurr?” expanded Mike Jones, especially offended that he’d be presumed dead while actual dead rapper Paul Wall was resurrected with no such hologram. “No Chamillionairrrre?”

Waka Flocka Flame, who had criticized Snoop Lion for the 2pac hologram, criticized Slim Thug in the same way: “They getting paid off a dead man’s body.”

When informed a very broke Mike Jones was still very much alive and awaiting phone calls at, a surprised Slim Thug asked “WHO!?!”

Slim Thug was last seen driving to Mike Jones’ house with the hologram in tow to settle the controversy. BIG K.R.I.T says he will be replaced on tour by a Slim Thug hologram.

Very much dead rapper Paul Wall remained unavailable for comment.