By Suri Booze
SYDNEY – Step aside, Nicole Kidman: there’s a new Aussie in town, and she’s hungry for fame.
After successes like Bridesmaids and Pitch Perfect, Rebel Wilson has been throwing her weight around Hollywood.
“She was hilarious in What To Expect When You’re Expecting. Like, so funny,” said Jessica Simpson. “I didn’t even notice how hott Brooklyn Decker looked!”
“Why admire Angelina Jolie’s beauty when Rebel Wilson can make you laugh?” asked Kirstie Alley.
Wilson was signed with Jenny Craig in Australia, but struggled to lose weight. She recently quit and tore up her contract in exchange for a lifetime supply of Sprinkles Cupcakes.
“Rebel doesn’t need Jenny. The program was holding her back,” stated her agent, Rick Ross. “She’s increased her stage presence by 200% this year.”
Not convinced she couldn’t shed the kilos? Maybe it’s genetics: multiple sources have recently reported the newly crowned princess of pudge is the lovechild of actress Kathy Bates and 27th president of the United States William Taft.