LOS ANGELES – Twenty years after the release of “Baby Got Back,” Sir Mix-a-Lot has been spotted with Natalie Portman, sparking controversy and allegations of lying about liking big butts.
“I mean, was he trying to find the flattest-assed white bitch out there?” said rapper Nas. “He couldn’t be happy with Charlize Theron or Helen Mirren?”
Mix-a-Lot, KBE, defended himself: “I mean, at least she ain’t Mila Kunis.”
“Typically, my anaconda don’t want none unless you got buns, hun,” said the legendary poop chute booster. “But when the bitch has a Harvard degree, an Academy Award, and an adorable yenta to boot — hard to say no, nah’mean?”
“It’s well known in the rap community that Mix-a-Lot really was the first n*gga to make that fat ass accepted, so we respect him for that,” said resident A$$ man, Big Sean.
“But damn, Natalie Portman? Bitch make don’t want to make me motherfucker hammer time, if you know what I mean.” Sean then proceeded to grab his penis for added emphasis.
Eminem simply said, “This is just disrespectful to the memory of Nate Dogg.”
Mix-A-Lot and Portman have been spotted grabbing fro-yo, wearing pea coats while riding their vespa scooters, and lounging at an organic coffee shop in order to watch TED Talks on their iPads.