By Weezy F. Scott Fitzgerald
HOLLYWOOD – Critically acclaimed filmmaker Wes Anderson has revealed his latest work will consist solely of Bill Murray walking in slow motion.
The film, Moonwalk Mr. Zissounbaum , is set to be released Friday exclusively for hipsters to download off the Pirate Bay.
“Wes is a genius,” said Murray, who has played a prominent role in every Wes Anderson film dating back to the 1980 taping of Anderson’s first Little League at-bat, and who is Moonwalk Mr. Zissounbaum ’s lone actor. “He understands me in ways Dan Aykroyd never could.”
“The role was written for Bill, absolutely,” said Anderson, adding that there was no actual script, just the plan that they’d shoot Murray walking, slow it down in the editing room, and then replace any sound mistakenly captured with songs from The Kinks: The Ultimate Collection .
“Bill is my muse, obviously. My light. My Lolita. Plus, who wants to see Jason Schwartzman walking in slow motion?”
White, bespectacled fans expecting to watch Murray walking listlessly over bridges, along train tracks, or through cemeteries and meta-ironic rainfall will be surprised to find that the film takes place solely on a treadmill.
“ Moonwalk Mr. Zissounbaum is unlike other Wes Anderson movies,” said Anderson. “Bill has never agreed to appear naked for the entirety of any of my films thus far.”
“I hadn’t smiled in a movie in thirty years,” said Murray. “But, Wes. What can I say? He pushes all the right buttons.”