MIAMI – Last week rapper Rick Ross released a children’s book about dealing with bullies.
The 15-page book, titled Shove That Bully Back, Then Make Him Your Snack , recounts various incidents with bullies that Ross had back in the day. Instead of being scared and running away from his attackers, he did what any hefty, hungry 5-year-old should do: he ate them.
“Yo, you know that new song ‘Diced Pineapples’ featuring Drake and Wale? I wrote that about a bully named Tyrone that stole my lunch,” Ross told The Rap Insider . “I turned his black ass into a fruit cocktail.”
Throughout the book, Ross rhymes about other bullies who he turned into afternoon snacks, including “Timmy with tourettes who’s always shakin’, he called me a pig, I turned his ass into bacon” and “Little Bobby Jones who busted my lip, I puréed his ass into Mexican bean dip.”
Since the release of the children’s book there has been a 300% increase in the eating of bullies across the nation, particularly by gingers. Nerds now come home from school with hearts full of knowledge, and bellies full of bullies.