Published on October 25th, 2012 | by Jon Tanners0
Romney Supporter Taylor Swift Has Binders Full Of Silly Ex-Boyfriends
NASHVILLE – Taylor Swift, supporter of Republican Presidential Candidate Mitt Romney, claims to have had “binders full of silly ex-boyfriends” brought to her while filling out the tracklist for her newly released album Red.
The album came as a response to a nation full of people wondering which of her silly ex-boyfriends is the subject of each of her songs.
The binders all contained sparkly stickers and glitter pens; several were Twilight themed.
Two of the binders were not binders at all, but rather Lisa Frank Trapper Keepers.
The absolute cutest of the silly ex-boyfriends the registered Republican was driven crazy over on Red include Greg from study hall, Chad that guy from that band with the scruff, Tyler the Creator, and Joe the Plumber.
“Everyone just assumes ‘Holy Ground’ is about Joe [Jonas] and his chastity ring, or drugs,” said Swift, clearly implying the catchy, enchanting tune is about New York Jets backup quarterback Tim Tebow.
“Gosh! Not every song is about Joe Jonas, John Mayer, Jake Gyllenhaal, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Jesse Eisenberg, Mark Sanchez, or Jerry Seinfeld.”
“Some guys think they’re hot shit,” Swift sings often. “But I believe in equal opportunity, in competing over me in a free market, be it Taylor Lautner, that goofball Channing Tatum, that really funny guy Justin Timberlake, [Tennessee Titan quarterback] Jake Locker, [Tennessee Titan backup quarterback] Matt Hasselbeck, or Kanye West, who’s such an asshole and who came and embarrassed me onstage that one time and I just can’t believe I have the hugest crush on him I just hate that he’s so cute!”