Best Of smiling grandmother

Published on October 29th, 2012 | by Jon Tanners

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Your Racist Grandmother Secretly Thinks Kanye is Very Handsome

By MCTrishtheDish

OKLAHOMA CITY – While searching for her Sunday morning scripture reading, 71-year-old racist grandmother Geraldine Clementine Thompson had a moment of clarity that her Southern Baptist community might consider the work of Satan: she realized she thought that Kanye West was very handsome.

“I was flipping through that there telly vision when I came across something about a Kim Cardigan and her colored rapper boyfriend,” said Geraldine to The Rap Insider Thursday night, while sipping prune juice from her front porch rocking chair.

“That Kim girl looked like a two-cent fornicatress, but that Kanye in his nice bowtie and pressed suit, he looked like my deceased husband Fred, only in blackface.”

Geraldine, who had proudly acknowledged her husband’s participation in the KKK for the 56 years they were married, then proceeded to talk about her unholy attraction to a man of another race.

“If I was younger, I wouldn’t take a second look at that Kanye, except to make sure that he didn’t have my pocketbook in his hand. But that morning, I saw him in a different light. Suddenly, I wanted him to turn off all of the lights and convince me to try his chocolate Ovaltine.”

News of Geraldine’s attraction to Kanye had mixed reviews from her family members. Her son Bubba blamed it on All Timers disease, while granddaughter Betty Sue took time from a Tyga video shoot to give her mawmaw props.

As of yesterday, Geraldine plans on attending Kanye’s next concert in Oklahoma City’s Ford Center arena. She has written her Jitterbug phone number in 5 pairs of disposable Depends undergarments.



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