The Rap Insider Beyonce sings National Anthem during inauguration ceremonies for U.S. President Obama in Washington

Published on January 23rd, 2013 | by Trish


Beyonce To Lip Sync At Super Bowl But Also Slip Some Nip So It’s All Good

By Weezy F. Scott Fitzgerald

NEW ORLEANS– After recording artist Beyonce Knowles’ stunning, pre-recorded rendition of “The National Anthem” at Monday’s Presidential Inauguration, NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell issued a statement defending his Super Bowl Halftime performer:

“It is my understanding that Ms. Knowles will in no way lip-sync her entire Super Bowl Halftime performance without slippin’ some nip, so come on people, it’s all good.”

The Commissioner also shot down rumors that because Beyonce lip-synced at the Inauguration without dancing or slipping nip, the same might be expected of her at the Super Bowl: “Don’t worry. I got this.”

“When you study the tape, it’s clear that Ms. Knowles relies heavily on her sexy dancing,” said ESPN NFL analyst Ron Jaworski, applauding the Commissioner. “At the Inauguration, she got away from her strengths: lip-syncing while dancing in ways that remind viewers of sexual intercourse. Expect a return to her lip-syncing, nip-slipping form next Sunday.”

Beyonce, who has antagonized fans for years by never once posing nude or even topless, or even leaking a sextape, acknowledged yesterday that she did apologize to President Obama after her wardrobe malfunction-less performance, and that he told her: “I’ll be at the Super Bowl.”

“I got this,” reiterated the Commissioner, creepily. “Just trust me on this. You will not be disappointed. There will be cameras everywhere. You’re gonna get your goddamn titty.”

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