The Rap Insider Soul-Khan-white-rapper

Published on February 7th, 2013 | by TRI Staff


Surge in Long Island Rappers After Drake Calls Upper Middle Class “The Bottom”

By  Teflon Don DeLillo

DIX HILLS – This week, Drake released a new single in which he proclaims he “Started From The Bottom.” Encouraged by the success of a fellow member of one of the world’s most endangered populations, a surge of Long Islanders are releasing their own EPs in which they, too, chronicle the challenges of starting from the upper-middle class.

“This one was for everyone out there who went to Jewish Day School,” said Drake. “For everyone who was told they ‘weren’t hood enough’ when they went to places like Great Neck and Southampton.”

Now other white, Jewish rappers are opening up about the hardships of life in predominantly white, Jewish areas. On his upcoming mixtape, aspiring emcee Jewcy J (aka James Goldbergsteinwitzberg) gripes: “Live at home with my parents, and I get no respect / For my 16th birthday I didn’t get a Lex”.

The response from the suburban community has been overwhelmingly supportive: “If Drake can come up from the bottom, then so can I,” explained Jewcy J while biting into a two-pound corned beef sandwich.

No word yet on whether ambassadors from Bangladesh, Equitorial Guinea or Nagasaki 1945 intend to formally challenge Drake’s “Bottom” assertions.

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