The Rap Insider snowball-header-2013

Published on March 6th, 2013 | by Alex Fenn


Floridian Disappointed With Lack of Exposed Breasts at Snowball Music Festival

WINTER PARK – With the SnowBall Music Festival fast approaching, and highs in Winter Park expected to be below freezing, one area man is already lamenting the fact that he will not see any exposed breasts this weekend.

Gavin Johnson, 34, a ninth-year undergraduate at the University of Miami, said that he was disappointed to be retiring the ‘TITS?!?’ cardboard sign that has been so handy at Ultra, Bonnaroo, Mardi Gras, and the Republican National Convention.

When The Rap Insider interviewed Johnson, he was scrambling to create a giant portable space heater that would enable him to blast heat on those willing to expose themselves.

“Basically, I’m like Willy Wonka.  Except instead of chocolate, I want melons.”

Johnson continued, “I don’t care that you can see Kendrick Lamar, Big Gigantic, and Pretty Lights here.  I have a tits minimum, and SnowBall isn’t meeting it.”

The Rap Insider is unsure as to whether or not Johnson will begin a ‘perky nips’ count instead.

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