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Published on April 25th, 2013 | by Jon Tanners

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CNN Mistakenly Ties Yasiin Bey to Boston Bombings

By Hurricane Cole

BOSTON – Media giant CNN accidentally linked rapper Yasiin Bey to the bombings at the Boston Marathon, continuing their journalistic tradition of fucking up.

The rapper formerly known as Mos Def was implicated as a suspect after CNN erroneously reported that he was an Islamic extremist who operated with a terrorist group known as Black Star.

Yasiin was first charged with the terrorist allegations after his neighbor, 68-year-old retiree Melinda Samuels, provided information to CNN.

“He was always acting so suspicious. I could hear him talking about these Islam terrorizer things all the time,” claimed CNN reports which cited Samuels. “Everyday, he would read from that book with the weird letters in it. It looked all Bin Laden-y. Plus, I could hear him on the phone. Sometimes he would talk about this Mecca place, or he would chat with another guy named ‘Talib’. As a true American, it was my duty to report him to the property media authorities.”

CNN anchors quickly began to associate other suspected terrorist rappers with Yasiin. “Yasiin has ties with all sorts of Muslim extremists,” declared Wolf Blitzer. “Shady extremists like Raekwon, as well as a character known only as ‘Nas’.”

CNN broadcasted speculation about Yasiin and his involvement in the bombings for two and a half hours before Boston police released the following statement: “We are not currently investigating any rappers in connection with the Marathon bombings, although we are still searching for missing-person Ja Rule.”



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