Published on May 7th, 2013 | by Trish0
Lana Del Rey Whimpers Quietly in a Corner While Her Man Does His Thing
LOS ANGELES- Singer-songwriter Lana Del Rey also known as “if Adele were sickly thin, a lounge singer, and far more pathetic,” quietly hummed the melody of a new single while she clutched her knees to her chest and forced an elegant but heartbreaking tear to splash into the fibers of the carpet in response to her not-quite-boyfriend’s stoic and uncommunicative demeanor.
“Those who know me best admit I am too much, am impossible. Not difficult, but too wild or too lost in something,” Del Rey later wrote in album liner notes, “I know I love him more than he does me, but that’s alright.”
After two hours of abject silence, Del Rey gathered enough strength to recognize how in-awe we can be at those who fail at everything that matters to everyone else, but are still happy and unhindered by regrets.
Lana Del Rey hyperventilated for a quick ten minutes, then slipped into a tight red dress, made her way to sit alone at a cocktail bar till 3 A.M., when an unconventionally attractive tall, dark stranger whispered in her ear that he could make her forget everything for one night.