The Hollywood Insider dewey

Published on May 15th, 2013 | by Trish


Macklemore Opens Up About Success After Playing Dewey In Malcolm in the Middle

By Weezy F. Scott Fitzgerald

While true Americans already know celebrity entertainer Macklemore as the kid who played Dewey on Malcolm In The Middle for all seven seasons, false Americans and anyone born after 2006 are just now starting to notice the former child star for his recent foray in the realm of popular music.

Last night, from his yacht made of tires and duct tape, Macklemore confided to The Rap Insider his regrets, his grudges, and more.

TRI: “Nice yacht.”

Macklemore: “Yeah, it’s a little leaky, but, you know…”

TRI: “No, please tell.”

Macklemore: “Ryan made it.”

TRI: “OK.”

Macklemore: “…”

TRI: “So, did you ever fuck Lois?” (Ed. Note: Lois, Dewey’s feisty Mom on Malcolm, played by Amy Winehouse).

Macklemore: “Gross.”

TRI: “Gross?”

Macklemore: “I mean, Hal, that guy from Malcolm and the Middle who’s now that guy from Breaking Bad?”

TRI: “Yeah, Walt, sure. I gotchoo.”

Macklemore: “Yeah, he was all like in possession of her.”

TRI: “Did Dewey ever try to kill Hal on the show? I can’t remember.”

Macklemore: “Dewey would never make it look like Dewey was trying to do anything.”

TRI: “I see. So. We’re including in the lead that you’re opening up to us about your regrets and grudges…”

Macklemore (head tilted towards the moon, fingers massaging chin): “I should’ve spoken up more after being mistakenly placed in the remedial class. I should’ve killed Jamie while the nature of his sex was still ambiguous to the audience. I should’ve spent less time composing operas and more time rapping, because now I see clearly where the money and bosom birds flock. How’d I do?”

TRI: “And grudges?”

Macklemore: “Mac, obviously.” (Ed. Note: Malcolm, Dewey’s genius older brother, played by Mac Miller). “It’s one thing for Reese to tape me to the ceiling, and another thing for Francis to light my tree house on fire with my dinosaur, blanket, and cello in it. But Mac siding with them? His dick is mine.”

TRI: “His dick. It sure is. Perfect segue. So. Your success since the show? What can you tell us about that?”

Macklemore: “What do you mean?”

TRI: “You were nominated for a Grammy…”

Macklemore: “…”

TRI: “You dropped one of the biggest singles ever with ‘Thrift Shop.’ I mean, that just came out of nowhere…”

Macklemore: “…”

TRI: “You’re not Macklemore?”

Macklemore: “No, I am. But the ‘Thrift Shop’ guy? Pretty sure that’s Erik Per Sullivan.”

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