Published on September 17th, 2013 | by Jon Tanners0
2 Chainz Cookbook Outsells Gucci Mane’s “Eat Garbage And Poop Yourself” In First Week
ATLANTA – In a stunning turn of exactly what everyone thought would happen, 2 Chainz’s recent #MealTime cookbook has outsold Gucci Mane’s latest culinary publication, Eat Garbage And Poop Yourself, in its first week of release.
With recipes such as “Deep Fried Crack Donut Pie,” “BURR,” “I’m Going to Kill You,” and “Gucci Mane’s Teriyaki Glazed Seitan Skewers With Baby Bok Choi Salad and Yuzu Vinaigrette”, it’s understandable that Eat Garbage And Poop Yourself hasn’t precisely flown off of shelves.
“We warned Gucci about including baking soda and methamphetamine in every recipe and incoherently threatening home chefs after each step,” said a representative from Simon & Schuster who spoke with TRI on condition of anonymity, “but you know how it goes. You don’t tell Julia Child how to make beef bourguignon. You let that bitch cook.”
For the small but fervent demographic that considers 2 Chainz’s recipes “too healthy” and his writing “too charming,” Eat Garbage And Poop Yourself has provided a welcome alternative with no fewer than 187 recipes that lead to both type 1 and type 2 diabetes, acute onset diabetes, gestational diabetes, and a previously undiscovered form of diabetes being referred to by doctors as type 12 diabetes or “Willy Wonka dick.”
Prognosticators expect #MealTime to be challenged next week by Drake’s highly anticipated cookbook The V in OVO Stands for Vegetarian: Using Tears Instead of Chicken Stock and 101 Other Clever Tips to Help You Stay Vegetarian and Still Enjoy The Foods You Love Or At Least The Foods You Once Loved Before They Stopped Texting Back, Please Respond.