Published on November 13th, 2013 | by Trish0
Kanye West Forgets What He’s Ranting About Mid-Rant
LOS ANGELES – Since the Yeezus tour is temporarily on hold, Kanye West has taken to random bars to get in his weekly rants. Unfortunately, last Saturday, West was so moved by his own rant, that he forgot what he was ranting about.
West was spotted in Tucson, AZ at the aptly-named “Dirtbags,” where he was sipping white wine spritzers and chewing his fingernails. By the time the clock struck midnight, West immediately bit into his chocolate Jesus piece and jumped onto the bar to begin another premeditated rant.
Fifteen minutes into his rant, West had covered corporate slavery, oil prices in Saudi Arabia, the sex trade industry in Switzerland, acid attacks in Zanzibar, and male feminists. By the time West hit the twenty minute mark, he completely froze, mouth agape.
“Yo, I thought he was going to break into “Blood on The Leaves” but he seriously lost his train of thought and just kept staring,” University of Arizona freshman Michael Shapiro commented. “The bar started its regularly-scheduled trivia night and we kept giving him ideas to rant about but he just stayed frozen.”
Ashamed of his performance anxiety, West later tweeted: “TUCSON I”LL BE BACK. TONIGHT I LOST MY TRAIN OF THOUGHT AND MY VISION AND I’D NEVER WANT TO GIVE YOU A PARAGRAPH WITHOUT A STRAW MAN P. #DONDA”
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