Published on November 28th, 2013 | by Trish0
DJ Khaled Lets Out Wistful Sigh As Rick Ross Gets Last Turkey Leg, Again
For the past four years, the first drumstick off the masterpiece turkey was destroyed by an enthusiastic Gucci Mane attempting to carve it with a Colt .45. The second was always claimed by Rick Ross through sheer force, leaving Khaled dejected and hungry.
But this year, Khaled arrived at the dinner 45 minutes early to claim his seat directly across from the turkey spot with a cardigan over the chair and a copy of Atlas Shrugged on the placemat. He would not be foiled again.
He then giddily sauntered off to the kitchen to grab a fruity mocktail, whipped up by a chipper Drake in matching shoes and apron. It was then that Rozay arrived, and the shenanigans began.
An incredulous Ross moved Khaled’s cardigan and book in front of the salad spot and marked his own territory in front of the turkey with a bucket of KFC containing two lemon-pepper wings and three ounces of chin sweat.
But while Ross was collecting his own mocktail, Khaled, with a smile of satisfaction, switched his seat back, placing Ross’ bucket in front of the lowly cranberry sauce spot.
Minutes passed. The rappers caught up, told some stories, and reflected on good times. Khaled knew his time was near. Drake popped into the dining room with the steaming turkey on a giant silver tray held by his oven-mitted hands. Some juices dripped on his shoes, and he stifled tears.
Khaled went to find his seat…but his cardigan was nowhere to be found — no, wait, there it was. Oh god. In the corner of the room, next to J. Cole, who just won’t shut up.
Thanksgiving ruined again.
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