Published on December 2nd, 2013 | by Trish0
Pitchfork Editor Literally Salivating To Give New Childish Gambino Album A .342
NEW YORK – Pitchfork editor Larry Randle was forced to change his shirt for the 3rd time before lunch due to the cascading waterfall of saliva produced after a daydream about the .342 rating Childish Gambino’s unreleased album would soon receive.
“I cannot wait to stick it to that little hipster shit,” Randle said, wiping the corner of his mouth with a beach towel.
Last week, Pitchfork staff voted on what score Gambino’s album, which won’t be released until December 10th, would receive and averaged the results. Since, Randle has begun bringing a duffel bag filled with outfits to work.
“I can’t even turn on NBC without getting a Pavlovian response,” Randle said. “Sometimes I just think about how many people on the Internet will look at the .342 rating and copy my opinion and I just…”
“Damn it that was my last cardigan!”
At press time, Randle was frantically trying to think of a hilarious quip about the .342 blood alcohol content you would need to enjoy this album.
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