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Published on December 11th, 2013 | by Trish

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CeeLo Caught Giddily Spinning In Voice Chair After Hours

By DHT

LOS ANGELES – Rotund human squeezebox/soda-can CeeLo Green was caught by former collaborator Danger Mouse spinning giddily in his Voice chair after his 9 p.m. bedtime. He managed 12 spins before spotting the reddish curls of his Gnarls Barkley partner.

Cee-Lo, who Home Alone 2-style waited secretly in the studio for The Voice crew to leave, was eager to test out the rotational force of his judges’ chair. He had determined, after being scolded the previous week by a producer for repeatedly hitting the SPIN button, to perform as many cycles as he damn well pleased.

Brian Joseph Burton, aka Danger Mouse, was coincidentally visiting the studio to investigate the depths of narcissism and despair for a future David Lynch collaboration. “After the first few wafts of hair product, man musk and desperation hit my nostrils and activated my tear ducts, I realized I was in the right place.

The former Goodie Mob member’s baby-like appendages gave the eclectic producer a proper workout. “At one point I thought I had him when he tripped, but it was just like a roly poly bug and he kept going,” he said.

Finally Mr. Burton summoned Jack White, Frank Ocean and James Mercer, who proceeded to shame the once-credible singer into submission. They then scooped him up and returned him to his crib. It was there that the producer cajoled Cee-Lo into singing  a heartbreaking soul medley fusing fears of loneliness and insanity before crying like an infant; Pitchfork gave it an 8.3.

Cee-Lo later defended his actions, claiming he was slipped ecstasy in a glass of champagne and is pressing charges against Christina Aguilera.

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